Gemma, Senior HC Leader and Chair of the PwC SPACE network

Gemma is a Senior HC Leader in Leeds, and Chair of the PwC SPACE (Supporting Parents, Carers and Everyone Else) network. She’s been with PwC for 11 years and shares her story and experiences of maternity leave and returning to work…

Our family lives all over the country, from the Lake District to Bognor Regis so with less than 2 years between my children and no family living locally, it was never going to be easy. On maternity leave with my second child, I felt overwhelmed and on a number of occasions I felt completely out of control. I remember breaking down at my six-week appointment and brushed it off as “just tired”. I’d say the same when my Mum gently encouraged me to go to the doctor and talk to someone; I would tell myself that I just needed to sleep and for my hormones to settle and I’ll be fine. But then when I did try to sleep, in the short windows between feeds, I’d often feel anxious and start picturing disaster scenes involving my babies. Many a night I’d take myself off to the bathroom and just sit on the floor with my head in my hands feeling like my family would be better off without me. Gosh, even now, that is a hard thing to admit to. 

I was lucky that there was a great deal of support available to me, so when I was eventually diagnosed with postnatal depression and anxiety, I could access a number of benefits through PwC. I started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which taught me how to reflect on my values as a parent and acknowledge and reinforce the things I was doing well rather than dwelling on the negatives.

The support I received from my PwC Career Coach and Occupational Health was also invaluable. The ongoing care from my colleagues has helped me on numerous occasions. Mental health recovery isn’t always a neat linear upward path - there are good days and bad - and having trusted people that you can be honest with becomes very important.